Helen's unborn child kicked harder as the contractions occurred at an accelerating rate. The last bit of sand in the hourglass was almost through. "Hurry Fabocusa," she screamed in her head as she grasped clumps of her raven black hair to try to distract herself from the ongoing pain. She lay on the table in the labor room of the hospital waiting for her husband. She rubbed her pale bulged belly, comforting her child. She hoped that her love would come before their child does. She didn't want him to miss it. A tear ran down her cheek as her amber eyes bore into the door willing to be opened. Another contraction began and she gripped her belly. "Fabocusa, please," she whispered. Seventeen was too early for a girl such as her to give birth, especially alone.
Med 25, a medical probe, appeared as a floating insect with surgical tools as limbs examined a holographic image of the child checking its vital signs and body structure. Helen eyed on it as a better distraction. The image changed to reveal the physical appearance of the child, then it showed the muscular, bone, circulatory, nervous, digestive, respiratory, and then the immune system. She then heard the child's heart beating four times in each rhythm on the monitor. As she listened to that soothing rhythm, she thought about the times she'd spent with her soul mate. It also gave her confidence that he would arrive very soon. When Med 25 finished the examination, it extended a couple of its limbs out and transformed them into delivery hands to use them for the delivery.
Then all of the sudden, an alarm blared violently all over the hospital and spread across the city. Everyone was screaming and running in every direction. Helen got scared, not knowing what was happening. Looking around, she saw a built-in emergency page speaker on a wall she could use to call her rescuer, but couldn't reach it from her table.
As she tried desperately to reach for the speaker to call for help, an angry, dark, distorted demonic voice came from all over the city, even as well as in the hospitals' voice announcement. The demon himself manifested above the city and began his speech:
"Spacers! It is I, Seiton! You were taught how to cultivate civilization and supposed to worship me. Instead you banished me into Tartarus to suffer billions of years ago. Now, I have returned as you foolishly uploaded me into your computer network. I went through all your files and all your records. With that I know what you have done during my absence.
"You even came in contact with those primitives; Humans, Higers, Aquamaids, Mowls, Cobains, Kamodos, Arthros, even Tunains. You taught these creatures how to build civilization and they worshiped you as gods. You were never made to be gods! How dare you allowed yourselves to be worshiped as gods!
"I shall remain the one and only ruler of this galaxy and beyond. This galaxy must be restored the way it has to be. With my power, I have turned every bit of your technology against you. Your times are gods has come to end! You shall all die along with those children!"
As soon as Seiton gave that speech, all Helen could hear were loud explosions came all over the city. The child was an inch away from being born and she couldn't stand up and try to run for life; all she could do was cry for her love.
Then Seiton appeared before her as a fourteen foot blue holographic humanoid being with a scaly body rippled with muscles and horns of a goat on his head. He wore only light pants with a leadership belt containing a lightning bolt. Energy and computer codes swirled around him as he pointed his finger towards her.
"Helen, the Spacer King's whore!" Seiton snarled. Helen crouch down in fear from his menacing glare-- his knowledge of Fabocusa and herself frightened her.
"Go away! Get away from me!" Helen cried back pathetically as she wrapped her arms around her belly trying to hide it.
"NO!" Seiton roared and another contraction struck the young girl as if someone stabbed her with a sword.
He continued, "A year ago, you served as a slave after your family was killed by a plague. You were tortured, beaten, and forced to work under the command of your masters. This damn Spacer, Fabocusa saved and impregnate you. I can see the memories in your eyes. You should have rotted on Earth as a corpse!"
The memories of her terrible past coated as Seiton overpowered her. Helen thought she couldn't cry any more tears, her face hot and heavy, unable to see anything from her eyes.
"Stop it! Don't say anything terrible about him! I beg you, leave me alone!" Helen cried.
"You will die before he reaches you along with your child!" he snared looking down at her bulged belly, knowing that she was pregnant with a Human/Spacer hybrid. "As for your child, it shall be ripped out of your womb!"
He snapped his fingers and disappeared. Then he gained control over Med 25 and directed it towards her belly. Helen was then strapped to the table unable to escape. It hovered over her and took out its laser saws. Death was coming for both of them.
"No! No! No! Not my baby! No!" she kept screaming as it targeted her belly for the butchering.
Just when its laser saws met the skin of her belly, Fabocusa burst into the room, grabbed Med 25, and threw it across the room. He took out his battle rifle and shot it down with a beam of light. As it was destroyed, he ripped the metal straps off of Helen and held her as tightly as he could.
Helen starred at Fabocusa, unsure as to whether it was really her husband. He wore a gold cape and pants covering his pure snow white skin. Long hair was as pale as the peak of Mount Olympus framing his handsome face. His eyes as blue as the Mediterranean Sea, met hers as he shouted their need to escape.
"My love, we must leave now!" Fabocusa shouted as he lifted her into his arm as a firefighter carrying a child out of a burning house.
"What are we going to do?" Helen cried.
"We got to get to the throne room," Fabocusa said as he puts a gas mask on her. "At the back of the room, there is a portal I created which would take you to planet Chartorla. We need to go now!"
Seiton's swarm medical probes charged at them, but were blasted away by Fabocusa's rifle. When they got out of the hospital, the scenery changed drastically. Each power plant was blowing up; many Spacer ships were crashing down to the planet; every building was collapsing; every vehicle was crashing at random directions; the roads opened up with erupting flames, which spread like wild fires; missiles and bombs were going off; many people were being burned, ripped apart by the medical probes, and/or gassed to death. Their world was falling apart and there wasn't anything they could do to stop it.
Two more shuttles charged at them from all directions, but he made a shield that shattered those shuttles. As they made it through the gate, another wave of probes came up behind them. But he touched a button on his rifle and threw it at the swarm. The rifle sets off a powerful explosion, which wiped out that wave.
When they got to the throne room, a ring-shaped portal was just behind their throne. Fabocusa had her lean against a wall as he activates the portal. He punched the codes and a vortex was formed for them to go through. The palace started to crumble and there was little time for the portal to stay open. He had to get his wife through the portal before it was too late.
"My love, you have to go through the portal without me," Fabocusa said as he got his Human wife back on her feet.
Helen was very shocked to hear that from her long time soul mate. She felt her heart crack and began to cry.
"I want you to be with our baby!" she cried. Then another contraction began, this time the pain felt worse and caused her to scream and lose her balance. He grabbed her just before she fell to the floor.
He warned her, "If I go with you, Seiton will gain control over the portal and we'll end up in empty space, a black hole, or worse. I have to stay and keep that portal under my control until you reach Chartorla."
"You will die!" she warned him.
"Then I shall die!" he stated.
"If you are going to die, I will die with you!" she shouted denying him to end his life for her.
"No Helen, your life is more important than mine! I have to sacrifice myself to save you and our child!" he shouted. "You must hold on! Can you do that for me?"
Helen looked down into the floor as she cried. He lifted her face up, wiped off her tears, placed his hand on her bulged belly, and begged, "Please, live for our child."
Tears ran down both of their cheeks as their eyes were reunited. She nodded and he gave her a quick passionate kiss goodbye. After they kissed, Fabocusa said, "I love you."
"I love you too," Helen cried as she kissed him goodbye. As soon as she went through the portal, Fabocusa kept holding onto the controls.
"Come on! You can get there!" Fabocusa kept shouting out loud. Then the control system of the portal made beeping noises telling him that she made it. Fabocusa smiled and Spacer ship crashed through the roof of the palace.
I'm getting more and more interested as I keep reading! There are still errors like I have mentioned previously. One issue I want to point out is that once you introduce a character in their appreance, it shouldn't be cited and pasted into another section of the story. Say if a character was in the middle of a battle and their attire got torn/ripped. That would be a good example to describe the change. But other than that, I can't wait see what will happen concerning the mother and child. Good job!
This is a good prologue. It sets up the right amount of tension and keeps the reader wanting to read more to see what happens.
Just a few things:
-I think every time you say snared you're actually meaning snarled since it is someone talking. -A crack opened up in the middle of the road and he somersaulted over it just before the flames could touch them. He slid under a charging shuttle before it crashed into an exploding vent. This seemed a little off physically since Fabocusa is carrying Helen. I think if you were carrying someone, you wouldn't be able to do somersaults and what not unless you're defying physics. o.O You might want to rework it to make it a bit more plausible. -At one point you mention that Helen and Fabocusa are soul mates/long time lovers/etc. How long? Considering you mentioned that Helen is only 17 (and I'm assuming that Earth years), then really, she's too young to have been someone's lover for a long time. -When Helen is saying good bye to Fabocusa and kisses him, you state that she's saying good bye to here her king, her healer, her friend, her god, and her lover. I really don't think all of that is needed, or if it is, then maybe it can be reworked. You have already established before this that they were lovers and married, so you don't need to repeat it here, especially since you have set up that she is crying and emotionally heart broken over leaving him. -She felt her heart just cracked and started to cry. I think you meant to say that she felt her heart crack and began to cry. It just sounds odd the way it is currently written.
I really like the set up and the premise of the story. I look forward to reading more.
away time is back
:D! This time I've
got 1500pts to give
away c:The last
giveaway was really
well received so I'm
doing another! After
the way the last one
panned out, one
thing I would like
to remind you guys
of is to PLEASE
PLEASE follow the
guidelines so you
can be properly...
A few days ago we
had a chat to
issues and solutions
(see the original
thanks to everyone
who came and raised
took 45 minutes for
the volume of talk
to max out Sta.sh
limit and this chat
went for two more
Even though summer
is imminent, you
often find yourself
on your couch,
watching Honey Boo
Boo, thinking; "I'm
rather chilly o_o.
OMG I'M CHILLY." .
would rather blast
the air conditioning
and bundle up then
turn it down and
rely on the earth to
There are ten days
left to submit to
the Louder Than dA
folder. With that
being said, I'm
putting out an
article that offers
some tips and quick
problems a poet may
be facing when
writing their slam
poem. But very
quickly, I would
like to address a
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More