Deviation Actions
Literature Text
School
September 4, 2343
Alexander felt his shoulder shook that very morning. Alice said quietly, "Alex, it's time to get up."
He opened and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"
"It is time to get ready for school," she said.
"School?" he looked at her with concern.
She nodded. "Vyla would be there. She could keep you company on the bus, which is coming to our house in about an hour. I got breakfast on the table ready when you are."
She left his room as Alexander began to get dressed. He paused as he wondered if school would be a friendly place or a frightening place. What if I meets those bullies again? What if I gets laughed at by everyone because he was different? Those questions spun around in his head. Hobbes came into his room, rubbed his head against the boy’s stomach, and purred. Alexander patted the jaguar's back and smiled.
He grabbed his backpack and headed to the kitchen. Alice poured oatmeal into his bowel from the crock-pot. She was happy that he was ready for school. She even made him a lunch and put it in his lunchbox.
Alice asked. "How do you feel right now?"
"I'm nervous," said Alexander. "I really don't know how I would be treated since I am 'different.'"
She sat next to him as Hobbes rest his head on his lap. "Alex, this galaxy is filled with many different races. Everyone is different. This school you are going to is a school for many different life forms that came from all over the place. You'll not be left out."
He looked at him with confusion. "Life forms with different shapes, sizes, and appearances?"
She nodded. "You bet!"
Then there was a knock on the front and Alice opened the door to see who it was. It was Vyla.
"Vyla!" Alexander cheered and rushed to give her a hug.
"Come quick!" Vyla waved for him to come aboard. "The driver on the hover bus is waiting for you to get in."
"Ok coming! Bye, Alice!" he waved to Alice.
"Have a good day at school," Alice said.
The bus hovered over the house and landed on the front porch. When they got on, the driver appeared to be a bird-like humanoid with feathers and a beak for a mouth. The driver waved to them, "Gawk! My name is Hoot, I'm a Mowl. Come abroad!"
Alexander and Vyla sat behind Hoot as the hover bus took off from the house. He looked in the bus and saw many kids very different from him. A few of them were humans, Aquatics, and Mowls. The rest of the kids had fur, reptilian skin, and wore environment suits. It made him feel better knowing he wouldn’t be out of place.
Vyla described the different races to Alexander. "Those kids that looked like big furry cats are Hygers. The kids in those weird suits were the Tunains, they're like us Aquatics, but they only breathe water. So the Tunains had to wear these envirosuits filled with a filter apparatus. The kids that looked like lizards are Komodos. The other kids and Hoot are Mowls. And you already know the Humans and Aquatics such as me."
"That boy never saw anyone like us?" Hoot asked raising one eyebrow.
"No he hasn't," Vyla shook her head.
"Well, that surprises me! You need to get out of the house more often instead of watching cartoons," Hoot ordered him.
"What are cartoons?" Alexander asked.
"You don't watch cartoons?" Hoot raised another eyebrow thinking that was strange. Well, you are a very strange boy. Ok then, throughout the year I will learn more about you.”
**********
They began to head to the Intergalactic School District, the only schools that taught every race. The hover bus flew from the house over the canopy and flew toward 023 Newbury. A parking lot was located at the ground level of the city, which could fit five thousand vehicles.
The hover bus parked at the school section. All the kids on Hoot's bus got out and headed to a large teleport platform. The middle school and high school kids waited in line because the elementary school kids had to go first since they're young.
Then the elementary school kids heard a voice in the platform system. "Good morning kids! Today is your first day of school. You will be transported to the Intergalactic Elementary School. Have a great school day!"
The kids got teleported to the front of a small school with a large gym. Most of the area had a playground and an open field for a variety of sports. The school was a couple of miles away from the skyscrapers, giving the kids a little of nature. This school environment looked safe for Alexander.
Alexander, Vyla, and other kids entered their school and settled in the classroom. The classroom was fairly small, twelve feet in width, ten feet high, and twenty feet in length. The kids put their bags in wooden cubbies. There were a couple of computers for playing around on. A huge collection of books to read for fun and thirty desks lined up facing a plain wall. The two kids sat next to each other in the back row.
A redheaded woman in her thirties came in the classroom as the kids settled at their desks. This woman spoke, "Hello class! My name is Mrs. Wells. I will be your third grade teacher this year. I am so looking forward to teaching you, helping you learn, and have a lot of fun."
Alexander looked around as the class started to like her. Her voice sounded cheerful and happy. She seemed eager to teach us. She picked up a pen-shaped device and turned the blank wall into a blue screen. Numbers popped up and lined up in order beginning her first lesson.
She touched the board and numbers popped through. "Ok kids, let's do some addition to refresh your memory from first and second grade. It is very simple! Who can guess what two plus two is?"
A boy raised his hand. "Four!"
Mrs. Wells cheered. "Correct! Now what is two plus three?
Vyla raised her hand. "Five!"
Mrs. Wells clapped her hands. "Excellent!"
Alexander remembered to solve math problems when his mother was alive. He learned many math skills quick as a walking calculator. Math was a favorite subject to learn along with science. But being in a classroom with children he did not know except Vyla, he liked not to show his skills to everyone yet.
After Mrs. Wells' lecture, she passed a piece of paper to each student to solve harder additional problems for the next day. Many moaned knowing this was homework, but Alexander didn't find it a problem as he looked at it He believed it was simple to him.
Then she switched the subject to writing and spelling. The screen with numbers changed into a screen filled with letters. "Ok class, let's so some spelling warm ups before going into writing. We will try spelling one word at a time. Let's us try to spell the word "eye.""
Alexander slowly raised his hand. "Eye. E-Y-E. Eye."
"Very good Alexander!" Mrs. Wells smiled. "Anyone else like to try spelling a word?"
She had some students spell words that they found it hard, except Alexander. The words were like "ear," "nose," "hand," and "hair." So while Mrs. Wells asked other kids to spell the words, Alexander wrote them down on a small piece of paper just before the kids spelled them.
Then the lunch bell went off and the kids got up to go to their cubbies to get their lunch and headed to cafeteria. The cafeteria was roughly half the size of the gym next door. Many kids from different grades sat in different tables. A few kids in his class waited in line to get cheeseburgers.
He and Vyla found a good spot at the table where they could eat lunch together. When they sat down, he looked in his lunchbox and found a turkey sandwich, fat-free yogurt, an apple, and orange juice. He froze when Vyla pulled out a bottle of pig blood.
"Alex, this isn't human blood," said Vyla.
"Are you sure?" Alex asked daring not to blink.
She chuckled, "This is pig blood. We only drink animal blood, not other people. Don't worry."
Alexander turned around and behind their table were Hortor and his Aquatics bullies. They bared their fangs again and he froze. He was having a great time in school until they saw him. He looked down the table as he refused to look at their faces.
He heard one of Hortor's friends. "Hey that freak is back."
"Ha ha ha! Let's do things to make his school year miserable," said Hortor to Crap.
"How can he still be friends with Vyla?" Crab asked. "Doesn't she know he is a freak?"
Hortor rolled his eyes. "The reason for that is because Vyla is stupid and doesn't know the difference between us and food."
A boy carrying his lunch was about to pass them until Hortor stuck his foot out of the table and tripped him. The boy fell and his lunch splattered across the floor and the bullies laughed at him. The boy humiliated and ran out of the cafeteria.
A tall Hyger boy came up to them and slammed his fists to their table and roared. "That was so cruel of you rotten bloodsuckers!"
The bullies jump in fear except Hortor who laughed, "Go back in the jungle, Furball!"
The Hyger boy roared and Hortor bared his fangs at him as if they were about to have a battle. Then a Komodo gym teacher came up to the rivals and blew his whistle loud at them. His head resembled a komodo dragon, wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt.
"Hey! Knock it off!" roared the Komodo gym teacher. "Don't make me send you to the Principal's office!"
The two rivals backed off and the Hyger boy walked up to the table where Vyla and Alexander were sitting. He wore a black sleeveless shirt, black baggy pants, and had big paws for feet. He has a head of a tiger and arms of a wrestler.
"You showed him!" said Alexander.
"I really hate those guys!" said the Hyger boy who turned to Alexander. "Hey, are you the new guy?"
Alexander nodded. "My name is Alexander."
"I'm Tak," the Hyger boy said. "If you need a bodyguard, I'm yours,"
"That is so nice of you," said Vyla. "He was beaten up very badly by those guys, but my dad took care of him.."
Tak grunted, "Why can't they just be nice to everyone else?"
"They never learn," Alexander shook his head.
"Tell me about it," said Tak. "It is good to meet you. Vyla told me all about you."
"Really?" asked Alexander.
"Oh yeah, she told me that you are very mysterious, but you are very nice, playful, and generous unlike those jerks. Did you see how they embarrassed David? That is not right at all," said Tak.
"That kid was David?" asked Alexander.
"Yeah, he is a very shy and quiet kid. He gets picked on a lot by many people and I hate seeing that. He needs someone to stand up for him," said Tak.
"Maybe I can talk to him," said Alexander.
"You could try," said Vyla.
Then lunch was over and it was time for recess. Many kids ran into the playground. A few jumped on the swings while others slid down the slides. A couple more dug in the sandbox. Most pretended to be sailors on a pirate ship; others played kickball in the baseball field.
Alexander and Vyla ran around the playground for fun while Tak just watched. Alexander was happy that he made another friend, who wanted to be his bodyguard. He could make more friends in this school. Maybe even be friends with David and help him deal with those bullies.
After they ran, Alexander wanted to look for David. There were so many kids around, but he had not spotted him. Tak was right that David needed somebody to protect him. Tak could protect both him and David. He looked around and spotted David. David sat on the board walk and drew on the pavement with chalk by himself.
"Hey guys, there's David," Alexander pointed at David. "I want to go talk to him and see if he can play with us."
Vyla said, "I don't know if he wants to play. But maybe we could hang out with him."
"I’m going to go up to him by myself because I don't want us to gang up on him. It would be scary for him," said Alexander.
"Alright, good luck," said Tak.
Alexander went to David as he was drawing. One the pavement, he drew a cat, a sun, and some flowers. David had dark slightly short hair; his eyes were green/amber vortex, he was the same height as Alexander, and had freckles under his eyes.
Alexander waved, "Hi!"
David turned his head slowly and said in a quiet voice. "Hi."
Alexander tried to think of something to start a conversation with him. So he said "Your chalk drawings are amazing."
David looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," Alexander nodded. "I really like it how you made the landscape, the flowers are very beautiful, and the cat looks really cute."
"Well thanks, what's your name?"
"Alexander, what's yours?"
"David, are you Human?"
"Not really. You are a Human?"
"Oh yeah. Where did you come from?"
"The Vega System, what about you?"
"I was born and still live in the polar region of this planet."
"Cool! Do you want to play with me and my friends?"
"No thanks, I like to not to be a big crowd."
"My friends would not be mean to you."
"I am a very complicated person. I like to have my own space."
"Ok then," Alexander backed away from David and went back to his friends.
**********
Mrs. Wells spent the rest of the day teaching the class about Purelif's ecosystem. Alexander watched the lecture slides go forward, letting it sink into his head. He listened and wrote whatever the teacher said. As she passed papers around, he quickly answered her questions before she could tell the class to begin. He could learn any subject quicker than his fellow classmates. It was remarkable.
At the end of the day, hover buses came back and took the kids home. Many kids ran out of the school, Alexander walked out. He joined the other kids to the platform and was teleported back into the buses. Hoot was happy to see him as he got back on the bus.
"Hey there kiddo!" said Hoot. "The first stop is your house!"
"Can't wait to see Alice!" said Alexander.
"She will be very happy to see you. Did you have a great day?"
"Yeah I did!"
"That is good to hear! Did you make more friends?"
"Made another friend who is a Hyger named Tak. He will protect me from bullies."
"That is good for him and you! Tell Alice I said 'Hi.'"
"Will do!"
Alexander jumped out of the hover bus. He ran into the house and Alice gave him as hug.
"Hey Alex! How was your first day of school?" she asked.
"It was great! I got to see other kids from different worlds and they looked amazing! Plus I made another friend named Tak who is a Hyger," said Alexander.
"That is great to hear! Pretty soon you will have more friends."
"The school is a fun place to make friends and learn."
"It is! Do you have any homework to do before dinner?"
"Oh yeah! It won't take me long actually."
"Make sure you don't make mistakes on them."
Alexander ran back into his room to do his homework. He took out his math paper and completed the math problems in three minutes. Then he practiced spelling for three minutes. Next he completed his writing and science homework in five minutes. Completing his homework in eight minutes, he had to make sure they were correct. He felt very good that he completed his homework. Then did pushups. When it was dinnertime, he came in and they had grilled chicken with vegetables.
"Hey Alice, do you know a boy named David?" he asked.
"David as in David Firion?" she asked while slicing a piece of meat off a leg.
He took a moment to think of that last name. Then said, "I don't know, maybe. He is a very shy kid who gets picked on. I was trying to be friends with him, but he said that he wanted space."
"That's him," she nodded. "His mom and dad never got along with each other ever since they had him. Their relationship was complicated, meaning they stayed away from each other, fight, and come together. But his workaholic father is cold-hearted to the family and so his mother kicked him out of the family and started living with his grandmother. I think the reason that his mother and father never got along was some strange fantasy thing I don't really know about."
"What fantasy thing?" he asked.
She puts her silverware down. "Well, they say that David's dad wants to create I think super Humans and acted crazy about it. The World Leaders opposed to his research thinking he was mad. So he was left without any support from either them or the colony. He said that his wife's mother is a Caster, which I have no idea what that is. I think it is odd for parents to divorce each other just because of Caster stuff. The Caster thing is the reason kids picked on him a lot."
"That's not right," he said.
"It is," she agreed. "Do the best you can with David. You guys could have much in common."
He added, "Maybe, my friend Tak and Vyla could protect him from those Aquatic bullies."
She reminded him, "Just be very careful if you see them again. I don't want you getting hurt."
He nodded, "Don't worry, I won't."
"That's good," she smiled. "Hey, would you like to take an evening walk to the beach?"
He nodded with a smile. "Yeah! That would be fun."
The idea of David is all thanks to wyvernmaster!
Enjoy!!!
Prologue:fav.me/d5ktl3a
Chapter 1: Hybrid, Chapter 1: The Child
Chapter 2: Hybrid, Chapter 2: The Prophet
Chapter 3: Hybrid, Chapter 3: The Helbots
Chapter 4: Hybrid, Chapter 4: The Marine
Chapter 5: Hybrid, Chapter 5: The Escape
Chapter 6: Hybrid, Chapter 6: The World Leaders
Chapter 7: Hybrid, Chapter 7: A New Life
Chapter 8: Hybrid, Chapter 8: Aquamaids
Chapter 9: Hybrid, Chapter 9: What is he?
Chapter 10: Reading
Chapter 11:fav.me/d4jgu57
Chapter 12:fav.me/d4jtcvf
Chapter 13:fav.me/d4kvxos
Chapter 14:fav.me/d4l8nue
Chapter 15:fav.me/d4m3pyv
Chapter 16:fav.me/d4sgor8
Chapter 17:fav.me/d4skwio
Chapter 18:fav.me/d4ssgjj
Chapter 19:fav.me/d4z5nvw
Chapter 20:bclement117.deviantart.com/art…
Chapter 21:fav.me/d52fnpr
Chapter 22:fav.me/d53a8rb
Chapter 23:fav.me/d53mt7a
Chapter 24:fav.me/d548yei
Chapter 25:fav.me/d554g1u
Chapter 26:fav.me/d5590rm
Chapter 27:bclement117.deviantart.com/art…
Chapter 28:fav.me/d55qymt
Chapter 29:fav.me/d55qzbl
“Alexander got up early in the morning to get ready for school” … I'm very conflicted by this start. On the one hand, there was nothing previously to ready me for Alex being put in school. I assumed he would be, especially with him and Vyla talking about great it is, but there was never any “I want to go to school Alice!” from him or “Oh hey, you need to go to school too Alex!” from her; it's like you assumed “Of course he needs to go to school, what else would he do?” and just went there. On the other hand, I feel like the decision for him to go to school maybe wouldn't have been an interesting scene, and so here you're taking us to the part where he is in fact going to school. You skipped the boring part and took us to the action, which feels right. So … I don't know. It feels sudden I guess
“What if he meets the Aquamaid bullies again?” … excellent, it's always nice when characters don't know they are characters; of course Alex will meet the bullies again, especially that named bully
“You know how to make a kid feel better” … it's a little odd to have a kid talk about himself as a kid, know what I mean? Most people take the word kid (or child or boy or girl or words like that) and assign it to those younger than themselves, while for themselves they use grown up words, like “You know how to make a guy feel better” or “You know how to make me feel better”
“Good morning Alex! She said. Good morning Alice! he said” … are these two this full of cheer every fricking morning?
“Alex, this whole galaxy is filled with many different races. Everyone is different” … aw, what a good thing to tell him after that whole “I'm different!” thing last time. I'm betting school will show him otherwise, but now he's got a good truth to take with him for protection against school
“That makes me happy! She really likes to make you happy, doesn't she? You two are great friends and I am proud of that” … first and third sentence too much Telling, and then that second sentence … I don't see how any adult could say that with a straight face
“This driver was a Mowl” … Telling
“Gawk! My name is Hoot” … oh wow, if this was a world of talking bird people, the bus driver would be a stereotype of every talking bird character ever
“The rest had ... suits” … I think I understand what you mean, but you might want to make this clearer between tailored formal sits and hazmat-type suits; I'm pretty sure you mean something like the latter, basically for the kids who can't live in this environment, but there's nothing to stop someone from assuming the former … until a few lines down where Vyla explains, but a different word above would keep the description from grinding to a halt in the reader's mind
“The other kids and Hoot were the Mowls” … and with this, you don't need to Tell the reader earlier that the bus driver is a Mowl
“And you already know ... Cobains” … there's Cobains on the bus? I thought their race was still primitive and not space faring yet? Or is it kids that were all saved along with Alex when their planet was attacked? In that case, Alex could pretty easily make friends with them
“There is a lot you don't understand about me” … why did Alex just get dark and brooding with his friendly bus driver?
“Bottom level of the cloud city” … read this sentence and fix that start
“a small school with a large gym” … so what, the school is completely dwarfed by its own gym? That seems odd
“It was twenty-two feet tall and wide” … the “large” gym is no bigger than a basketball court? How does this school fit every elementary age child in the galaxy?
“and peruse your dreams” … I'm pretty sure elementary school kids won't know what “peruse” means, so why is this guy using it in his welcome speech?
“Now everyone please take one down and pass them around” … they're trusting a bunch of elementary school kids to pass schedules around until everyone has their own? Can these kids even read yet?
“teaching you, helping you learn, and [having] a lot of fun” or “teaching you and helping you [learn. We'll] have a lot of fun”
“addition is when you add numbers” … could she say it in a way that isn't a tautology? Maybe “addition is when you combine numbers” or “addition is when you put numbers together”
“Alexander raised his hand and said, Four!” … ha, Alex is going to get the reputation of being a brain, poor guy
“She had [the other kids] spell some words that [everyone found hard] except Alexander” … that's the smallest correction I can make of that sentence, but you might want to do your own thing
“They are parts of your body that you can see, said Alexander” … a) I don't think I'll feel bad now if Alex is picked on, his answering every question is getting annoying, and b) Is Alex correct here? Do all the alien races have those things too, or is it just humans?
“headed to cafeteria to eat” … needs a quick grammar fix
“The cafeteria was twenty feet long and sixteen wide” … I've been wondering, what's with all these exact measurements? Did you go and measure the rooms of your old elementary school or something?
“this food looked better than the cheeseburgers they were serving” … huh, Alex sounds like an insensitive foodie here, “My food is healthier and thus better than yours”
“Vyla had a couple bottles of farm animal blood for lunch” … it's good bringing that up again, but isn't Alex going to say anything or react in some way? Before he was freaked out when he heard they drank blood, but here he doesn't react at all
“Alexander chuckled because he found it amusing” … is Alex showing pride at his abilities here?
“They [bared their] fangs again and he froze”
“Let's make his school year miserable” … Telling and kind of a boring “bully” thing to say
“When Vyla is not around” … why? They don't want Vyla to get involved or tell on them? You've already shown they aren't afraid of her, back in the sea cave where they tossed her away
“bared his vampire fangs at him” … I'm not sure about calling them vampire fangs; we already know they have fangs used to drink blood, we don't need a mythical creature referenced
“Hey! Knock it off! roared [the] Komodo gym teacher” or just “Hey! Knock it off! roared the teacher”
“He wore ... big paws for feet” … You should say “and he had big paws for feet” because otherwise the sentence reads like he is wearing big paws
“Has a head of a tiger” … He has? Grammar issue
“I really hate that guy and his friends! said Tak” … don't use someone's name until you've introduced them, which you do a few lines down
“If you need a bodyguard, I am yours” … what? Why is this guy randomly offering to be Alex's bodyguard? Why does he think Alex needs a bodyguard? Is that something he says to everyone? Is this his way of asking to be Alex's friend / battle buddy?
“He was beaten up very badly by those guys and he had to go to the hospital” … Wow this must be an embarrassing moment for Alex
“They never learn, said Alexander” … huh? Alex has met the bullies twice so far, that's hardly cause for him to think they never learn
“Vyla told me all about you except the incident” … this kid knows Vyla? And if she told him everything about Alex except for the time he got beat up, again why would he think Alex needs a bodyguard? If anything he should think Alex is super and doesn't need any help
“you are very mysterious, but you are very nice, playful, and generous” … having this kid just praise Alex for a whole sentence feels odd to me
“lunch was over and [it was] time for recess”
“Few jumped on the swings and slid down the slides” … did you mean this like “a few” did those things, or like the kids avoided that stuff?
“Alexander and Vyla ran around the playground for fun” … ran around? As in they jogged for exercise, or ran around like kids playing tag? And is Alex doing anything amazing here that might impress the other kids?
“I’m going to go up to him by myself ... It would be scary for him … Wow, you know how to handle this” … Tak is right, how does Alex know the right way to approach a loner?
“I was born and [I live] in the polar region” or “I was born and [still live] in the polar region” or “I was born and [I've lived] in the polar region”
“the polar region of this planet … Cool!” … subtle pun?
“No thanks, I like to [not be in] a big crowd” or “No thanks, I [don't like being in] a big crowd”
“I am a very complicated person. I like to have my own space” … huh, this kid is brooding almost exactly like Alex was before, making him an interesting parallel to Alex now
“Alexander felt bad that David was left out” … David isn't being left out, he wants to be alone; Alex seems a little arrogant here thinking that David shouldn't be a introverted loner
“sank into his head. [He] listened, wrote what the teacher said”
“He learned everything in the class in one day in a matter of seconds” … odd sentence, maybe “He learned everything taught to the class in a matter of seconds”
“Many kids ran out of the school and stormed into the buses” … hmm, shouldn't they be teleported to that big parking lot first before getting on the buses?
“The first stop is your house!” … that's almost too convenient, why isn't Alex half way through the route or something?
“Tell Alice I said 'Hi.'” … how does the bus driver know Alice?
“Do you mean David Firion” … how does Alice know David? Does Alice know everyone?
“Just as helping myself trying to find out what I am” … odd sentence
Interesting chapter, Alex in school is definitely fun to watch and I like that he's making friends easily and trying to help people like David. It's great for Alex to take the initiative like that. But some of this feels a little too familiar / stereotypical, such as dumb school bullies picking on the shy kid. And I'm not sure how to feel about Alex getting arrogant about things such as his healthy lunch or David being introverted; it's like Alex keeps noting how much greater his stuff is than other people's stuff. Is this kind of light arrogance a weakness for Alex? Also, everyone seems to know everyone else and that felt odd at times
Any questions for me?